Understanding whether you need marriage counseling can be the first step in trying to repair your marriage, open communication and have a better understanding of your partner. However, some people aren’t sure how to convince their partner to join marriage counseling with them. If you believe that marriage counseling would benefit your marriage and restore your relationship with your partner, let’s go over some ways of talking to your partner about counseling.
Be careful about how and when you approach the topic of marriage counseling:
If you are asking your partner to join you in marriage counseling it is likely due to being frustrated with your partner or your relationship. It’s important to keep in mind when and how you want to bring up couples therapy. Getting angry at your partner won’t help. It may cause them to pull away from you even more. Don’t bring it up in the middle of a fight or when you are angry. Instead you’ll want to find a time when you two are getting along well. You want to approach the subject from a place of love, in a non-threatening manner. Bring home the point that you cherish the good times with them, value your relationship and wish to see it flourish.
Check your tone before you start:
This is a vulnerable subject to bring up but being vulnerable is okay. However, you don’t want to come across as hostile, accusatory or frustrated. It may make your partner shut down and not wish to talk about the subject further. Being able to discuss in a calm tone what you want and how you want to move forward with your relationship (counseling) can only help to persuade your partner.
When you want to open up a line of communication about marriage counseling you can’t blame your partner for everything. You could have your own set of problems that are causing issues in the relationship and owning up to them during the conversation can be helpful in steering your partner towards accepting help. Don’t lay all the blame at your partner’s feet.
Explain what they should expect:
Some people see therapy as a means for their partner to have someone ‘take their side’ on an argument. You should explain to your significant other than a therapist is there to listen, guide and create a path forward. Your therapist won’t take sides. Also let your partner know that therapy isn’t a ‘forever’ commitment. You can go to a few sessions to see how things feel but you won’t have to spend years in therapy. It’s all about creating a better relationship for you both with better trust and communication.
If you are in a marriage that you believe would benefit from counseling, you can speak with a professional like Dr. Yvonne Thomas. Dr. Yvonne Thomas has over 20 years of experience in counseling. If you would like to schedule an appointment you can do so online or by calling (310) 359-9450.